It’s not often that I open up myself like this publicly or on my blog. It’s always seemed to me best to keep business/politics/person separated. However, this time I’m finding things different.
Your humble blog owner has bipolar and I’ve decided to also blog about and express how I feel each day or week as I continue to live with something I was diagnosed with in 2001.
As of Today, I have been out of work for a week and won’t go back for another 3-4 more days. This time, while seemingly relaxing to people who would kill to have to time off, has been miserable. It’s been a time of what the mental health professionals call “mixing,” which is particular to my type of Bipolar Type II. It’s when you want to scream and yell and run around and burn energy while at the same time you’re depressed and want to cry. It’s a very miserable feeling-and is the part that is most responsible for suicides by people with bipolar. Luckily for me, I don’t find that attractive or useful so I never let it bother me to that point. Doesn’t mean it’s not miserable mind you.
I’ve finally stopped mixing and now feel tired, depressed and sedated. This keeps me from having flash temper issues since I’m a rapid cycler. However, it’s in some ways interfered with my writing abilities and in other ways it has not. I’ll keep you abreast of that.
Today has been an okay day…just like I said above: tired, sedated and feeling down.
However, I try to keep a good attitude and keep slogging through it because it *has* to change one day-and it will. So, this too will pass. It’s just another speedbump in the road of life.
Will post again tomorrow if I’m able to.