Excerpt of a fantasy novel in progress



Author’s Note:

This excerpt is from a fantasy novel that is in progress. Now I know you’re saying “You don’t write fantasy!” and normally you’d be correct. However, a wild bug flew around and whispered into my ear that I needed to write this. So I’m working on the first of what will be a series of novels. Much like the “Dark Tower” series is Stephen King’s magnum opus; this might be mine too. However, given that I have one novel in the Talia series written, a second to completely rewrite and a prequel started, that statement may be incorrect. The jury is out on it since they need to be published.

Hopefully, you’ll enjoy this segment. It’s from middle of the story so characters aren’t really explained, but be patient! Read this story in good health and enjoy!

Bill Davis

Story Excerpt:

The man standing before Simone had aged since she’d seen him last but still remained recognizable. His black hair had turned salt and pepper and wrinkles formed lines on his face. However, other than that, nothing had changed in the years since he’d trained her.

“Yes, it’s me,” he said, “How long has it been, Simone?”

“Five years,” she said, “And you said you were an emissary from a faraway land! I don’t understand.”

“Of course you wouldn’t understand, Simone. You had then, and don’t now, have a clue as to who you are and why I visited you.”

Simone threw her hands up in disgust and then sighed. Everyone wanted to talk about destiny and not knowing who she was but no one seemed to want to tell her anything.

“I’d like to know why you came.”

“It was a test.”

“Wha…wha…a test?” Simone said.

“Yes, little one, a test,” the Oracle said, “one that you passed.”

“If I may ask, what were you testing?”

“Your abilities and, like I expected, you passed.”

“My abilities?”

“You’re special, Child,” the old man walked across the room and then grabbed a small stone on the far side of the fireplace and wiggled it free. He reached inside and then pulled out a wooden box the same size as a shoe box.

“You know; I’ve been hearing that for days now! Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?”

Despite her plea, the Oracle remained silent as he put the rick back into place and then walked over towards her. Once again someone was choosing things for her and wouldn’t let her have a say.

“This is for you,” the Oracle said.

The box looked plain, like something someone would hold their tools in when working in a shop. Its top, bottom and sides were sanded smooth and then given a coat of finish, which allowed it to shine just enough to catch the eye. The box felt very light in her hand; whatever was in it didn’t weigh much.

Simone looked at the box and then at the old Mage. “I don’t want to know what’s inside.”

“Open it and see,” the Oracle said.


Simone sucked in a deep breath and then looked at everyone around her. The Princess’ expression was one of rabid curiosity, as was the men accompanying them. Brady, on the other hand, looked like she was about to jump out of her skin. Whether it was out of excitement or impatience, and a combination of both, Simone didn’t know.

The lid came off easily and Simone sat it down on the back of chair before looking down. A gold necklace with a blue ruby laid in the middle of three gold circles lay on a small pillow. Small streamers of light ran along the edge of the circles and then disappeared into the ruby. It was fascinating and the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

“Why don’t you put it on?” The Oracle asked.

Sometimes in a person’s life, there something that they do not because they want to but because someone else wanted it done. And it’s in those times that things either went well or became a disaster, with disaster coming out on top most time. And this had the markings, in Simone’s opinion, of being a hum dinger of a problem.

She didn’t say as word as she took the necklace out of the box and then held it in her hand. No one wanted to tell her anything, so things would now come around from where it’s been going around. That’d teach everyone for keeping secrets about her life and refusing to tell her anything about them.

The gold chain was somewhere between thin and medium sized and it was big for her neck. Once Simone locked the clasp, the inlay and ruby hung down to the level of her breasts. She then touched the ruby and a strange feeling of warmth started at her breasts and then spread through her entire body and then disappeared as fast as it appeared.

“It’s pretty,” she said.

“And answers my last question,” the Oracle said.

“And I’m sure you’re not going to tell me what that was anyway.”

“You didn’t die. That tells me you’re The One.”

“I’m the what?” Simone said. “That…”

“What the hell?” The Princess said. “What’s happening to your hair?”

“My hair?”

“It’s changing color!”


“Look at your reflection,” Brady said.

Images filled her mind, each one appearing and disappearing in rapid fire progression. A city, with building reaching the sky burns as two army’s fought. One was led by a woman in black with black eyes that were dark wells in something evil instead of her soul. Villages, their people dying and the woman, always a woman, was taking their soul and placing them within her body. During both battles a woman with white hair lead the forces that opposed the Evil One. Armed with a Katana that had blue flame surrounding the blade due to runes built into the blade.

Simone spun on the ball of a foot and then approached a window. A set of clouds passed in front of the sun, taking away the glare so her reflection was visible. The hair at the crown of her head was changing from dark brown to white and the action expanded as she watched. Goosebumps erupted all over her body as a streak of white spread down the center of her hair until it reached her bangs, and then it spread outwards, coving every inch of her head and then going down the length of her hair until every strand changed.

“I see,” She said.

“The final piece of the puzzle is in place,” the Oracle said.

Simone spun around to look at the Mage. “If you don’t start telling me what’s going on, I’ll kill you myself.”

“Oh, I can tell you now,” he said, “that you’ve passed all the tests.”

“What tests?”

“The necklace. If you weren’t The Leader, it would’ve killed you.”

“What? Kill me? Jewelry? You’re not making any sense.”

“He’s trying to tell you,” Brady said, “if you’d shut up and listen.”

“I am trying to listen, Brady,” Simone said, “I can’t get him to make sense.”

“The story, child, started long, long ago. This world has forever been ruled over by two forces: The Forces of Dark and the Power of Light. During the Last Age, they started to openly fight. First with World Wars, then terrorism, and eventually the War to End All Wars took place, which wiped out all the technology and cities mankind had built.”

Simone closed her eyes. “I see images but don’t understand them all.”

“You’re seeing them, Simone, because you’ve been there before in previous lives.”

Any other time Simone would’ve told the Oracle he was senile and then walked away except the visions told a different story. In fact, for the first time since Leighton tried to kill the Princess, things started to make sense. Not that it didn’t shock her to the core, mind you; however, she wasn’t letting the Oracle off the hook. He was going to tell her everything or she’d beat it out of him if necessary.

“Why me?”

“The amount, and type of, power that The Dark and The Light put into their Champions is more compatible with women than men.”

“OK. So how many lives have I lived?”

“Two that I know of-counting this one. The Oracle before me told my she’d seen three…so let’s say five at least.”


“Your weapon is special,” the Oracle said. “It’s the only thing that can kill The Evil One.”

“What’s so special about a katana?” Simone said as she pulled hers out of its sheath.

The blade glowed pink for a moment and then a light filled the room as runes appeared on the blade and then started to glow. Blue flames appeared at the hilt of the blade and then raced down the length of the blade until it covered all of the metal. It flickered as she moved the sword around and then she spun the sword twice before cocking an eyebrow at how nothing changed how the sword burnt.

What really surprised her though was the fact that the strange flames didn’t hurt the blade at all. She risked touching the metal and found that it was cold to the touch, which defied all logic. However, given everything else that’d happened the past couple days, would this be any different?

“Your sword is the only thing that can kill The Evil One,” the Oracle said. “The combination of the necklace and the sword are the key to your power. If injured, you will heal faster than a normal person and if it’s something serious, the sword will help keep you alive.”

“Obviously, I can die,” Simone said, “but what would it take?”

“It takes a lot but you can succumb, child.”

“So I’m mortal, what about my counterpart?”

“The same.”

“What’s up with the sword?”

“It was made by my people during the years of the Great War. It was fashioned to kill the Evil One. Between the runes and the power drawn from the necklace, you can kill the Evil One.”

“For good?”

“She can get reincarnated like yourself.”

While the thought of being reincarnated intimidated most people, Simone didn’t think of it that way. In fact, the knowledge that the Evil One could return again and again caused her to shiver slightly. Goosebumps started at her lower back and then moved upwards until stopping at the base of her head as the implications of that knowledge sank in.

However, even that thought didn’t overwhelm her shock at everything that’d happened. How could someone like her, a simple woman born to a simple mother, be the champion of The Light. And furthermore, what was the power and why hadn’t she heard of it until now?

Maybe the King ignored it, she thought, and that’s why. Or perhaps people forgot. Or maybe this is all bullshit created by Brady and the old man? Doesn’t it just suck not knowing?

“I know what you’re thinking,” the Oracle said. “You want to know if I’m telling the truth.”

“Congrats. You read my mind.”

“There’s a way for me to prove it and something you need to do.”

“What’s that?”

“There’s one last piece you need and it’s inside the cave of fire.”

Thank God Simone was a somewhat patient person and did a good job controlling her temper because the Old Man was starting to annoy her. First her hair color changed, then her sword became something special and then she was told that she championed for a force that she never volunteered for. What else could go wrong?

However, she thought as she grabbed a small section of her hair and then pulled it out enough to see it. Having white hair does kind of make his story truthful. But why white hair? Couldn’t I have kept my normal color?

“The cave of what? And what do we need?”

“It’s what The Light has for you.”

“Great, another non answer to a question. Do you or Brady ever answer something straight up?”

“It’s a hard question to answer,” the Oracle said. “The Light has another piece to your power hidden there and you’re only one who can get it now.”

“If I’m only one, how do you know about it?”

“I serve The Light also,” The Oracle said, “but I’m the one who hid it there after your previous incarnation died.”

“How’d you get into the cave if I’m only one?”

“Once The Leader dies, I place this item inside and the power gives me access that one time.”

“Makes sense. Thanks for answering for once,” Simone said.

The temperature changed and goosebumps popped up on her hands then raced up her arm. And it wasn’t a normal cold; it was a bone crushing type of cold that reached your very soul. Almost as if someone went into the middle of the Atlantic in winter and dropped her overboard and then left her to freeze to death.

She hugged herself tight and then squatted down to compress down to use her body heat to stay warm. For what felt like an eternity she stayed there, chills wracking her body, until she started to warm up enough to lift her head up. The others stood around her, none of them showing any sign of the cold, which seemed impossible to Simone-not as chilly as the room was.

“Simone,” Brady said, “are you ok?”

“I… it’s…cold…so cold…don’t you feel it?”

“It’s not cold,” Brady said, “the temperature has never changed.”

“Simone,” the Oracle said, “this will pass. It’s temporary…and a warning.”

As fast as it arrived, the cold disappeared, which confused Simone. How could she be so cold yet no one else be affected at all? What was it that The Oracle called it? A warning? A warning of what?

“A warning?” Simone asked as she stood up. “Of what?”

“That the Evil One is near,” the Oracle said. “We need to go! Now!”

Sweat beads appeared on Simone’s forehead. “What do you mean ‘close?’ How ‘close?'”

“Enough that we need to leave. You can’t fight her right now! You’re not ready!”

Brady opened the door and peered outside. “I don’t see anything yet but doesn’t mean anything.”

“Where is this ‘cave of fire?'” Simone asked.

“It’s on the other side of the mountains, in the forbidden zone,” The Oracle said.

Simone sighed before exiting the house and then looking over her should. “Great, this just keeps getting better and better.

However, since I’m still responsible for the Princess, let’s get out of here. Who knows what they’ll do to her.”

“At this point,” Brady said as the others joined Simone outside. “I don’t think they care about her.”

“She is correct,” The Oracle said. “The Princess is nowhere near the threat to the Evil One that you are.”

“Well, you did say I could kill her,” Simone said.

“She can kill you too.”

“Figured as much.”

The sensation of cold struck Simone again and she nearly doubled over with its power before it disappeared as fast as it appeared. “That hurts,” she gasped.

“They’re getting closer,” the Oracle said, “We must flee.”


Reasons for Dead Forums

Sometimes in life, I just have to sit down and really speak my mind and say ‘to hell with whether it pisses people off.’ Today is one of those days.

I’ll withhold the name to protect the guilty, but I’ve been watching a particular writing forum for years…and sometimes posting on it until the past 6 months to a year. I know what you’re going to ask: “Why?” The answer is simple: I wanted to put time into writing and being a professional writer and not being a professional forum poster.

Well, I’ve systematically watched this particular forum go downhill since I left and it’s not even sad. In fact, I find it humorous to say the least.

When moderators get into pissing matches with trolls, knowledgeable people are told they’re sanctimonious and talking down to people, you have the recipe for a failed forum. Oh, no doubt the owner and mods will say I’m incorrect but they’d be wrong. Said forum needs 250 USD to cover costs and we’re halfway through the month and they’ve gotten all of *fifty* dollars in. Houston, we have a problem.

The biggest fail of the entire forum was when a particular poster from Pennsylvania was allowed to run amuck on the boards for months, posting inane comments meant to seem intellectual but coming across as a pompous asshole with delusions of grandeur. This person was able to make life miserable for several posters, do nothing but plug his free books on Amazon.com, and then act like he was the self-prescribed expert of writing. Really? Talk about sad as hell.

Now let me speak on the subject of moderators. In forums, they’re supposed to be impartial and enforce the rules. The ones on this forum? They get into pissing matches with the above troll that degenerated into whipping their dicks out of measuring them to see who’s bigger. Then, and if that wasn’t inappropriate enough, the mods then harass other posters on here-myself included-because they find us threatening to their status quo.

Most people on that forum will never be published and are sitting in a ‘blind leads the blind’ situation. Writing is a solitary endeavor for a reason…and sitting on a forum making posts asking questions and then reading what the artistes have to say is a waste of time.

Personally I find the whole thing ridiculous to say the least and find that the place gives me more information I can use on my blog than anything else. As they would say at Kings Dominion: Ride on!



Communicating Whether or Not Something is a Shout or Question


This is another issue that beginning writers-including I-have in the beginning. See, it’s easy to get confused about how to communicate something that seems more like a shout than a question. After learning more about the craft and how to put words together, it finally dawned on my about how to do this. So, here were go.

Ok, so your character is shouting something that could be a question too. This is a good way to write it:

“What did you do!” Talia snapped.

This is a question, but she’s yelling it at the same time. Now, in this case you have a choice between a “?” and “!” to work with. Grammatically, it’s incorrect to use both as like such: “!?” because it doesn’t make sense. So, this is where the words used in the dialogue and the particular tag solves that problem for you. By saying “Talia snapped,” it lets the reader know she was mad and allows us to trust that the reader will see in his/her head what we’re saying.

“What did you do?” Talia said (or Talia asked).

That shows how it’s a question. Note how you could use “Talia said” or “Talia asked” as your tag to get the point across.

The use of tags really helps things out, so don’t be afraid to use them.

I hope this helps.



One thing I see a lot of the forums is how to make a plot. While it’s a simple thing, a lot of new writers can’t get a grip on it. So here goes.

A plot is basically how your character goes from point a to point y at the end of the story. What happens between the two is what is called a plot. The conflicts, and what the character has to overcome, are part of what makes up a plot.

The dictionary definition of plot is:

the main events of a play, novel, movie, or similar work, devised and presented by the writer as an interrelated sequence

Each piece of action is then tied into another one, which helps to make the story move forwards. So, the thing to remember is how to make it tie together.

For example, Ice Station by Matthew Reilly: Someone sees a strange ship sticking out of the ice in an underwater cave before being killed by an unknown animal. Scarecrow and his team of marines are sent to investigate. They then have to fight the French and British Special Forces who want the craft. Then they had to defeat a person from a secret organization in the US government before finding out what the craft is. Then the resolution.

That’s a plot…each piece tied into another to help push things forwards.

I hope this helps out.

A Chilling Article

As you guys know, it’s very rare for me to bring out my political views and beliefs on this blog. I feel that I’m a professional and that my personal life should be kept separate from the professional, but this is something I can’t stay quiet about.

The FCC is in the testing stages of going to the various TV stations and “analyzing” their “biases” and “how stories are decided upon.” Well, that’s scary enough but it’s what comes next that’s the kicker.

They are also going to speak to reporters and station managers and give them 8 “voluntary suggestions” of things to run. Here’s just 2 of the 8.

1. Environment

2. Employment Opportunities  

Now before you jump on me saying I’m throwing out some right wing talking points, it’s not right-wing politics that drives me on this. The fact that the Government is going to sit there and “suggest” (aka tell them what they can broadcast) the news reeks of censorship. I’m sorry, but as a writer this is the deadly serious issue and I personally have had to adjust my writing already due to the massive politically correct landscape-but this takes the cake. 

If someone doubts me here’s a link to the story. Note that it’s written by someone who works in the FCC.


Anyone reading this who is concerned about free speech, please reblog this and get the word out.


Writing Interesting Characters



I see lots of posts about how to make a character interesting and not just a cardboard cut out. That’s a tricky question to answer because there’s many ways to do that.

Dialogue is one thing in a writer’s arsenal to accomplish the task. How does he or she speak to others and is the clean or potty mouthed? Is there lots of sarcasm? All of them display personality.

Actions are another option. How does she behave? Does she get mad easily? Never upset? Cold as Ice?

Narration can also help you.

Best thing is a combination of all the above. Characters are sums of their parts-just like we are as people, so keep that in mind when creating your characters.


Fools and Stupidity


When I was growing up I remember a saying my parents have: “It’s one thing to be considered stupid, another to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Sometimes I think people forget that when posting on various forums.

Today, someone made a post that fully showed amateurism, and when they were corrected and told how to sound more professional, they took it as a personal slam. *Sigh* Sometimes people are so high and mighty that they don’t have enough damn sense to realize they look stupid as shit.

I wonder how many of these people who get mad will ever make it into the world of being published. Given how they don’t want to even learn the necessary lingo, then the answer would be “never.”

Sometimes it’s best to take the advice given instead of sounding like a complete asshole by railing on the one who’s trying to teach something. Unfortunately, the people inhabiting this world seem unwilling to learn anything. No wonder we’re in the mess we’re in; people are too damn stubborn to learn.

I guess common sense and having an open mind is a lost art.

Looks Like I Picked a Bad Day to Quit Sniffing Glue


This was one of the funniest moments of the movie “Airplane!” by the Zucker brothers. It also describes how I feel sometimes after reading various forums.

Today’s post of the day is how to avoid using words like “he knew” in a sentence again and again. Well, it’s rather easy to fix that! It’s called move from telling into a showing mode. There’s various ways to get that point across without resorting to telling.

I would say that it’s easy to do this, but for people first starting out, it’s probably very difficult, so I want to avoid the arrogant type comments that hurt people’s feelings. But, to make a long story short, look at how to ‘show’ what they’re thinking and don’t ‘tell’ it. That should help.

As usual, have a good day.


Playing on my Itunes: Mozart Symphonies.

Helpful Site for Aspiring Writers




This is Kristen Nelson’s blog. If you’re not familiar with her, she’s the lead agent at Nelson Literary Agency, one of the bigger firms in the business. Inside her blog she covers everything from query letters to royalties and rights. This is a perfect one stop shop for aspiring writers.