I read a post on the forums today, and I have complete compassion for the poster. The question was how to write when depressed?
As someone who suffers from Bipolar, I’m not sure it’s possible to be able to effectively write when suffering from clinical depression. When I’m hypomanic, I might get more ‘work’ done but it’s sloppy and needs complete rewrites to get it to make sense. On the other hand, when depressed, I don’t get much work done and what does get accomplished is wordy, slow and twinged in sadness. It also ends up being a miserable time to work.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse then having Bipolar or Schizophrenia. For me my mood swings can sometimes be minute to minute but mainly day by day and it’s miserable to go through. When younger I used to a complete cycle in a matter of minutes. Someone or something would bother me, it would build then I’d rapidly shoot up into an explosion and then suddenly drop into a hole and feel like crying. It was miserable.
I’m not trying to help Big Drug with my next comments but I need to tell the truth. Nothing I’ve done in the past has ever helped until my Doctor found the right medicine combo. There’s no real way to self treat Bi-polar. It just doesn’t work…and the damndest thing is: it’s fairly common for Bipolar people to be great artists (and writers). However, if we don’t treat ourselves, the odds of killing ourselves and depriving the world of what we can do go up drastically.
I don’t have the stats at my fingertips but the rate of untreated Bipolar patients who commit suicide is higher than those who are. And that’s no guarantee that it won’t happen either…but it helps out a lot.
If anyone reading this blog feels like they might have Bipolar, than I suggest seeing a physician and let them check you. While it might cost a lot of money sometimes to get treated, you’ll feel so much better and happier that it’ll be worth it.
I hope everyone has a good day.
Talia's World 
I completely agree that the right mix of meds is essential to treating bipolar, a lot of people try the standard antidepressants and end up disheartened that meds just don’t work, but really, you need a PDOC and a bit of tinkering before you find the right fit for you.
Of course writing is harder when having a depressive episode, EVERYTHING is harder, some days i just focus on breathing, i try to block everything else out because it hurts so much. but it’s at these times we need to try and push ourselves and even if the writing is bad, it’s important to keep trying, keep trying to get out what’s inside us.
All the best with your struggles, i know bipolar isn’t easy from first hand experience, i tend to have longer depressive episodes followed by short bursts of hypomania, nothing too manic but a bit full on. I’d hate to cycle so quickly
I’ve cycled so fast before that I’ve been unable to tell if I’m coming or going. Been on this combo for nearly two years now and it’s been the happiest days of my life too.
As for writing, I might think I’m shoveling crap while sitting down during those periods, but I’m like you. I keep going and get something down on the page. I can go from there once it’s down there.
Just try not to be too hard on yourself and expect too much quality, our view is often skewed when depressed but if we keep trying to deal with things no matter how hard it gets, we’ll get there in the end. my meds have given me the best two months i’ve had in many many years, i get a bit tired of these people harping on about meds being the enemy. it’s like telling someone not to take chemo if they have cancer, it’s idiotic.
Absolutely! While these are STRONG meds that do cause major changes to the brain, it hurts more than helps to tell someone not to take them. That’s tantamount to putting a gun to a patient’s head and pulling the trigger!
However, if there’s one thing that will never change in this world it’s stupidity. They’ll always be people out there who want to treat us like we’re pariah’s for it. I’m far from it! If someone looked at me, they wouldn’t know I have it. However, with that said, I also refuse to hide in the shadows. I’m not afraid to say on my blog that I’m Bipolar. Why? Not because I want sympathy. Far from it! It’s to stand up to the world, stick out my chest, and tell them to “Go to Hell” with the prejudices.
Lamictal and Welbutrin have been gifts of Mannah for me. A touch of Seroquel allows me to sleep and that’s it. And I only take the Seroquel as a sleeping pill since it’s not addictive.
I take something quite similar to seroquel, it’s an antipsychotic as well but it’s being tried on bipolar patients and it’s called saphris. much like seroquel it helps knock me out at night, sleep was a big problem for me, it also help level the manic and give me motivation. i also take cymbalta, after trying lithium and EVERY SSRI and SNRI a GP can prescribe, cymbalta has been amazing. I also take another medication for back pain that acts kind of the same as an antidepressant, it’s the alternative of taking loads of oxycodone and all that rubbish they were trying to give me, seriously didn’t want to mess around with that stuff.
I’m the same, I’m not writing about my bipolar for sympathy or a pity party, sure it may seem like im having a pity party when i write when i’m down, but i’m just trying to swap stories and get the message out there that there is hope for a real life with bipolar, sometimes it stops everything but we have the capacity to fight for our own happiness and peace in this world, and to try and put out as much positivity as we can. it’s been so liberating connecting with others who go through the same struggles. i can tell you have a good head on your shoulders, keep fighting the good fight lol we need more people like you writing and sharing 🙂
Oh I tried that and had the dangerous allergic reaction to it. Within two days of taking it my back tightened up so much that I had to sleep in the recliner and then couldn’t sleep. Spent more time in the tub in hot water then anything else. Called my Doctor about the muscle problems and she IMMEDIATELY pulled me off it because that muscular issues and intestinal issues (couldn’t move anything) that day. Had to take allergy medicine for 2 days and my back got better.
It definitely puts you to sleep that much is for certain. Didn’t help me out at all.
Cymbalta didn’t do much for me. My old Doctor and the one I’m with now both thought it was junk. Abilify jammed me up too. Effexor? Too many private side effects. Welbutrin’s been the only one to have a perfect mix.
Yeah effexor was no good for me, cipramil made me ill and mad, prozac, zoloft, all of those did nothing. Saphris made you ill? I’m thankful I never experienced anything like that, I got very foggy for a while but it leveled out. The cymbalta made me vomit for two days, it was like having gastro i felt tired and weird and gross but also noticed that even though i felt so bad physically, my mood lifted almost straight away, it’s been a god send! But this is just a perfect example of how everyone is different and it takes trial and error to work out what mix of meds will work. I had someone claim that cymbalta is similar to cocaine because cocaine work via dopamine, i argued this with them and they told me i needed to educate myself as to what i was taking, i informed them i’ve studied a bachelor of psychology and HAVE informed myself as to what i’m taking and what it does, it’s these armchair google know it alls that think mental illness should be cured with well wishing and exercise. Sure exercise helps me, but without the meds, i’m lucky to get out of bed let alone go and exercise lol we’re lucky we’ve found our mix, i still get highs and lows but i haven’t been suicidal in quite a while now, which is an amazing thing for me 🙂
Welbutrin, after a year of taking it, has taken away my appetite and I lost 60 pounds between Thanksgiving and May. While my weight’s stabilized, once I start exercising, I’m sure it’ll go down.